Marlene or Marlena

Alright, another fun one with an explanation. She didn't get what I was asking as normal, but this one kind of ticked her off when she figured it out. My mother is horrible with names. Marlena will always be Marlene no matter how many times I tell her the correct way to say it, but boy does she know how to say Ben. I dated a guy for SIX YEARS and she called him Scrappenini when his last name was Scarpellini. I'm glad we didn't get married after all because she never would have gotten my name right. Odd thing is, she gets REALLY upset when people say my name wrong since she thought of it all on her own.

Anyway, here's the second one for tonight:

Dear Mum,
What's a nice way to tell a lady that you work with that's she a horrible moron for not being able to remember your name?She can remember my husband's name, but always call's me Husband's Wife when she comes in or introduces anyone to me... Thanks in advance.

Signed, I Do Have a Name You KNOW!

"I had pizza for dinner on Sunday, and it always upsets my stomach. I'll take some mashed potatoes though."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah, I bought some of the flaky kind."

(It took everything in me not to make a comment on her similar mental condition, but I held it in.)

"Mother, listen to me. SHE'S CALLED THE WRONG NAME."

"So?"

"THE WOMAN CALLS HER THE WIFE!"

"What woman?"

"..."

"What WOMan?"

"Alright, this dumb woman calls her the wife. She works with her. How can she get her to call her by the right name."

"Whose wife?"

"Does it matter?"

"Well, yeah, I mean, is her name hard?"

"I don't know. It doesn't matter. Her name could be 32 vowels in a row and it wouldn't matter. The woman makes no effort to learn her name."

"Some people forget names. They remember a face, but they can't remember a name. It's not the woman's fault, she just can't help it."

"I know. Trust me, I know. So, how does she tell this woman to remember her name without getting fired?"

"Her boss should know her name!"

"It's not her boss, it's a coworker."

"Well, then she can't get fired, can she?"

"Will you answer the question?"

"Well, she just just refuse to acknowledge her until she calls her by the right name, or at least attempts to."

And for once, I think she's right. So Marlena, next time you see my mother, you should do the same.